I know it’s cliche, but this year is going to be the year of Caprice. I am dedicating this year to myself and the road to personal growth. I have a big life event coming up– this summer I am moving away from home to a new state, and when I arrive I want to be my most authentic and true self.
I’ve been working on personal growth for a long time– I think it’s a typical part of growing up. But there are many behaviors I’ve exhibited that aren’t true to my soul. This year, and every year forward, everything I do I am going to do it in the most authentic way possible. I want to live a care-free life, unashamed of who I am. When I step out into the world, I want to present as Caprice, not some warped caricature of who I think I’m supposed to be.
There are a handful of things I am going to do this year as a way to improve myself. The first step is this blog! Ever since I was a little girl it has been my dream to be a writer, but now at nineteen years old, I realize the only writing I’ve truly done has been for school assignments or because others expected it of me. I’ve never written what I want to write, only what others expect from me. This blog is a way for me to step out of my cocoon and spread my little writer wings.
This year I am going to focus on weight loss. I took the first step in my journey and signed up for Weight Watchers, and over the last couple of days I have been tracking my every bite and step. I’ve had a long and ugly history with weight loss, and I realize that I have always been dieting for the wrong reasons. I wanted to do it for others so that I would look “hot” and more appealing to the public eye, but that is no longer my motivation. Sure, I still want to be attractive (who doesn’t?), but what I really want is to feel comfortable in my body. I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs and not be doubled over gasping for breath at the end. I want to be able to go on a hike and not worry if I will be able to finish. I want to go out and do so many things that I currently am not physically capable of doing. I want to be healthy for a long time, so that when I’m old I can take care of myself.
This year I am going to focus on my academics. I strive for a 4.0 GPA this year, and I want to gain as much knowledge as I possibly can. I believe that the more I focus on school, the more time and energy I dedicate to learning, the better off I’ll be once I graduate and begin my career. The more work I put in now means the less work I have to put in later.
Finally, I am going to focus on self-discovery. I have found that the older I get the less passionate I’ve become. I’ve lost interest in a lot of hobbies I once loved. There are so many things I want to do in this world, so many different skills I want to learn, and if I don’t start doing things now when will I ever start? I plan on using this blog as a way to document all the new activities I will be testing out this year.
Along with discovering the things I do like, comes with discovering the things I don’t like and will not tolerate. The biggest thing I have found that I don’t like is toxicity, whether that be people or behaviors or environments. Going forward this year and through life, whenever I encounter toxic situations I will exit them as soon as I can. I also strive to eliminate any toxic behaviors that I exhibit.
Despite all the craziness going on in the United States both politically and socially, I have a strong feeling that this is going to be one of the best years I’ve had so far. It’s going to be a good year because I will try everything in my soul to make it a good one.
So dear reader, would you like to come on this journey of growth with me?
Caprice Nielson 